MAAAAAH FACE

Les admissibles CESEM

Over the last week, I've been putting in long hours at my school for the two week period known as "les admissibles".  This is a huge event at my school and is the moment when potential students that have passed the written examination come to take part in their oral interviews. The day consists of them arriving in the morning, watching two presentations (one BDE and one from the Administration), doing a language interview (in the language of the program they want to go to : English, Spanish, German, Italian, etc) and then a personal motivation interview in French.

The students known as "les admissibles" are nervous and uncomfortable in their new suits, and are full of questions for us as they want to give perfect responses.  As "admisseurs" we are there to share our experience, keep them occupied and show them how awesome CESEM is. This is not difficult.

We start the day with our presentation. A presentation where I tell two personal stories of my experience in Reims, as do other members of my student council. Then we show them a few videos (both of which seem sentimental as we are nearing the end of our year), and we finish with a quick cheerleading routine done by our IBWE cheerleaders (utterly hilarious and awesome).  It is so crazy to see how small they are as they walk by full of ideas and excitement/nervousness.  I see myself in them five years back, so excited to begin Northeastern, and even more excited at the prospect of two years in France!

I'm also running the restaurant reservations, and so I have to make sure how many admissibles are going out to dinner each night, and which admisseurs are going with them.  The school pays for the admisseurs to go out to dinner meaning it has been tight competition to get in for a free meal. This is totally normal with college students ;-). But is is also pretty tiring as it is non-stop conversation, and usually lasts till 11pm (dinner begins at 8:30pm).

At the end of the day, I'm so excited for the little admissibles that I meet. They are beginning their college experience, and (the lucky ones) might even be doing the CESEM program, a program that I am delighted to have taken part in. On a more selfish note, I'm really glad that the whole event is going on, because  it kind of forces us all to hang out every day and soak in the last weeks together.

The reality that the end is coming is starting to hit us all. Yesterday, a friend of mine brought a flag to be signed by everyone. I sometimes feel like my whole self just starts to feel like "error, error, error when I think of CESEM ending.  I'm really going to miss Reims, all my wonderful friends who are going to be scattered all over the world, and speaking and living in French.

19 days until I head off to NYC.

Comings and goings

Things have been pretty good over here. Quick list of great (and remarkable) events:

1. Finished my mémoire! Woot! So much work went into the 89 pages of Volume I and the 36 pages of Volume II, I can barely believe it is finished. I have to defend it on Tuesday in front of my advisor and another professor, currently working on that presentation right now.
   
   
   
   
   
2. Had my last classes of CESEM and Undergrad. Can't deny it, feelz good.
3. Went to London. Visited my good friend Misha. Saw dinos in the Natural History museum, and even went to see Star Trek. Ate so much good food - Indian, Portuguese, Greek, etc. I was in vegetarian heaven. Am going to start looking for jobs in London ASAP.
4. Going to Disneyland Paris on Monday - this should be magical and fun, but Sunday we will be sleeping in Paris, drinking shreks galore at Le Kitch and picnicing at Flamingo Pizza OOOooo so excited!
5. Epic Road Trip is in planning mode! Ze Germans arrive chez moi le 1 juillet! Woot!
6. Currently planning orientation events for my school. I'm pretty excited to have a last hurrah with everyone. 
7. Starting to look for a job - feelz weird.

Busy

Just a quick word to say, "I'm swamped"! Trying to finish the writing part of my mémoire this week, while also calling up companies and trying to get last minute interviews. Fun, right?

But WHATEVER, because I'm going on a 750 KM bike ride to Venise in 11 days! So I'm going to get this mémoire done so I can roll my way on to IBWE 2009!

I'm aware that I'm breaking my New Year's resolution to write very often, but I can't right now. Every word I have must go into that mémoire!

See you on the flip side!

Mémoire

Writing this mémoire

It's getting down to the ticker. I have 26 days until my mémoire needs to be finished and I need to be packing my bags for a 750 km bike ride towards Venice.

The pressure is mounting, but I know I can do it. At this point, I can't even think in "can" or "try".... there is only do or do not. :-)

The mémoire is a pickle. On one hand, I'm really interested in my subject; it's what I want to do with my next chapter of my life. But on the other hand, it just seems like this unattainable thing that gets farther away from me with every step I take closer toward it. It's an odd feeling this treadmill effect, where I feel that even as hard as I try I don't get anywhere at all.

I have half of my interviews done, practically 20 pages written, but I can't shake this feeling of being farther away from my goal.

I'll just be happy when it's over with.

I passed!

Yay! I'm pretty much on cloud nine, this whole idea that I don't have to retake my exams is sinking in wonderfully. We found out a week ago that we would get results this week, but I wasn't really sure how I would do since a lot of my classes are finance based (eeks!).  But wow- I did it! I kind of just want to go around high-fiving everyone! VICTORY LAP!

The thing is, not only did I do it, but I did it well! I REALLY passed. I think I am even going to have an A average in a school that is taught in French!

Sometimes it amazes me how well I am doing in an international context. There are days when I feel like I'm not up to snuff and then something like this comes along to reassure me that everything is okay.

There are some classes that I passed by the skin of my teeth (we take 9 tests in one week), but others I did really really well - classes I didn't even expect to do well in! Sorry for so many exclamation marks, but I am just so excited!!!

All in all, I'm having a great day today. A day that makes me feel like I am where I am supposed to be: in France, studying business, and kicking ass. And by the end of the week, I know I am going to be feeling even more awesome....in Morocco!

This is where I studied for 10 hours today!!!!!

At 2:00 pm this afternoon, my roommate Flore and I decided to recreate a library in our living room. We both need a good work environment, but weren't willing to schelp in the cold, rain and snow for that. This is what we came up with (in our living room). My desk has been brought in from my room, and Flore is working at the kitchen table. 

*Note the awesome lighting, the large personal workspaces, snacks, and water bottles. :-)

At 10:00 pm this is what our study space looked like.

*Note the clementine peels, the new (and larger) coffee mugs and the eternal darkness outside.

At midnight we decided we were finished for the day.  Well mostly because the day...ummm... has ...errr officially ended. ;-)

Wall Street Bar

I went to a new bar that has opened up in Reims as of late. It is called Wall Street Bar and it is a chain of bars that started in Paris. Last night's fun was based on market speculation and good musak.

The premise of the Wall Street bar is this: you go there and the drinks are a certain price, but depending on how many people are buying that drink the price goes up or down. When I arrived at the bar the Cosmopolitan was 7.50 euros and when I finally decided to buy the drink it was 5.50 euros, but as I received my drink the price dropped to 4.50! I was so upset! I had an opportunity cost of 1 euro! Gah!

Everyone in the bar is watching the screens to see the prices go up and down. And you see people running down the stairs when the price seems to be just right. They either come back with a drink or cursing their bad luck. It is pretty hilarious. Going to a Wall Street bar means that you get to make really ridiculous business jokes.

The DJ was housed in the front of a Volvo bus that they had attached to the wall.

The only downer was that it was really hot in the bar AND that it closed near midnight! Which is pretty absurd.

All in all a fun night out in Reims.

Sad, that I woke up this morning very sick D:

Thanksgiving 2008 : The one where Julien is a "Star"

This year's Thanksgiving went on without a hitch.

I'm honestly not surprised that it did.  We were less people - down from 13 Americans to 5, our course load has been pretty tough, but we pulled it together perfectly and it was a smashing event.

This year we had a meeting to plan all of Thanksgiving and we divided and conquered each of the main dishes and split up the pies.  Our friends knew how it worked and so they were prepared to help us as well, offering black forest cakes, brownies, and salads. The girls and I wrote the menu, ordered the turkeys, we planned the pies, and we put together an amazing evening. 

The most exciting part about this year was the fact that some people were coming for their 2nd Thanksgiving and the others that were coming for their first were well versed (and excited) about what was to come.  Honestly, there was buzz surrounding Thanksgiving 08.

The first week of school one of my friends asked me when Thanksgiving was.  The second week someone else did. And it would happen again and again.   From time to time people would shyly mention it and ask how our planning was going.  It was amazing.  I love that people were starting to look forward to it with the same zeal that I do.  It is my favorite holiday and I've been looking forward to it since November 23, 2007.

But we had a dilemma. This year there was no Joe, as there are no American boys in our class from Northeastern, which posed a HUGE problem for cutting the turkey. Because tradition holds that it is done by the oldest (or host) American male in the family.

Enter Julien. Julien is one of the most ridiculous people in the world. His father is American from German descent and his mother is French.  His family history involves his great-something grandfather going to strike gold with the 49ers, but somehow getting delayed and arriving 10 years too late.  But anyways, round September, Julien approached me and told me (and I quote) "I want an important part in Thanksgiving this year".  He proceeded to tell me that he would totally drive us anywhere we needed to go to get Turkeys or cooking supplies, but he really wanted to help us out in the evening and he added, (and I quote again) "I want to be the star". 

I told him he would have to be prepared. Julien worked this out, found some good knives and even watched some youtube videos on Turkey carving. The night before the big day, we sent him a message with some more video's.  His cheeky reply was something along the lines of :  I'll handle the cutting and you girls just get the birds ready. 

And cut the birds he did. Everyone watched and took pictures as he was indeed the star of Thanksgiving.

We were only 5 planning this year's Thanksgiving, but we arranged all the food, made most of the food (except a few desserts) and organized everyone to come together for a wonderful evening - where we all fit in our living room!  It's amazing to see ourselves as capable adults - last year it seemed so surprising that it went on without a hitch, but this year it made sense that everything went well.  And I'll admit how good that feels. It's the kind of good that makes growing up OK (fun even!), the kind of good feeling that we get to share with others, as adults that can arrange things of this magnitude.  I'm not going to lie, I kind of like it :-). 

I'm already looking forward  to Thanksgiving 2009.

Next on the list for melodramatic...

The sad truth about graduating from an international school is that come July, we will all be going our separate ways. 

No one want to talk about it. It's the ever looming elephant in the corner - if we talk about what our future holds there is just the silent ever growing distance, our promising futures in all different parts of the world.

I hate saying that I am going back to the states next summer even if I am excited for what the future holds. I mean, I'm pretty excited for my prospects: working for a new and exciting company, finding a new city and finally making my way in the world. At the moment it is almost certain that I will go back to live and work for awhile to start my career and become a real person. So I don't know why I feel that sick feeling akin to failure when I admit that a one way ticket to the US is in my future. 

Why does it feel so much like giving up?

I stayed for the second year. I'm one of the ones who made it and then made the choice to stay and battle out the memoir, and take a whole new battery of tests. That was supposed to be my challenge.  Now looking to the future, I see myself challenging myself to stay again, but maybe this time it's for the wrong reasons.

Maybe it's because I know how much easier things will be in the states : I'll be speaking my own language, I'll be working in my desired industry, and I'll be closer to my family - or at least reachable in an easy inexpensive phone call.  After a year and a half of constant struggle, maybe I don't feel like things should be easy anymore.  What if I'll miss the struggle, the foreign and awkwardness, the pain in the ass cultural differences? Because like it or not, who I am right now has been founded on the fact that I am rarely ever in my comfort zone and that I'm always trying news things.

And I know, I know there will be challenges along the way - challenges I can't see clearly right now or that don't seem as significant right now.

So I guess maybe it's just that I'll feel less special next year. It's an idea that I will have to come to terms with.  There won't be the looks of surprise at my accent or my fluency in their native tongue. Being normal is a very different experience then what I am dealing with right now. Everyday I am noticed, where it be negatively or positively, and I am treated differently.   Some may see this as altogether negative side effect,but I'm used to it.  I'd even go as far to say, I like it. But the big fear of going home is that I'll just be one of the many, and maybe that is not what I'm ready for.